i think the best kept secrets are those you are too afraid to tell anyone...
the ones that keep you smiling on the outside but hurtin' on the inside
trying to pretend like everything is all right, when in reality, nothing is all right

i think we all go through trails of testing...
some, more than others
and while some of us learn from what we go through
there are the rest of us who never learn, who make the same mistake...
one too many times...

how long will it go on for?
how long until you can become that person you strive to be?
the person you know you were made to be?
how long...?
and what happens if you never make it?
what happens if those who put their trust in you
and those who began a good work in you...
fall away because you are just...simply...not good enough?
not good enough...

how is life to be lived if we do the things we don't want to do?
if we continually hurt those that we love, and those who love us?

i want to be different
i want change
i want to wipe away the complacency
and exchange it for sympathy
i want to feel
i want to be better

but how long will it take?
how long?